


Warm Nights, Cold Arguments

by princesspreze7



Category: 18th Century CE RPF, American Revolution RPF, Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Canon Era, Fluff, Historical Inaccuracy, M/M, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-20 15:08:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30006759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princesspreze7/pseuds/princesspreze7
Summary: Why do we hurt those we love the most?Laurens's way of protecting who he loves causes anger, confusion, and misunderstandings. He's just trying to help.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Warm Nights, Cold Arguments

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so this took a lot longer than I intended to post (whoops) I started writing without having a plot so that took some time to figure out. 
> 
> But anyways, it's here now, so, hope you enjoy!

Leaves crunched as light footsteps tried to remain unheard amidst the otherwise silent night. The moon glowed above the small clearing between the trees. 

It was the middle of a warm April night. Laurens was still tired from the day's work, yet Alexander had insisted in going for a walk beneath the mellow moonlight. 

Alexander seemed to have their destination in mind as he tugged Laurens by the hand to the centre of the clearing. Laurens let himself be dragged as his focus shifted to his surroundings. 

Wild flowers, now blooming after the harsh winter, grew along the edge of the clearing as if they were a barrier, protecting those inside from the creeping shadows among the trees. 

"Quiet and private." The warm hand holding his let go. Alexander sat on the newly growing grass and stared at him for a few seconds, subsequently looking away. "Sit," a pause in which he peeked up at Laurens through his lashes, "Please?" 

Laurens would rather take a million bullets than not giving in to the slight tremor in his Alexander's voice. 

It seemed Alexander would always question his love for him. 

Laurens laid down, arms supporting his head. Ignoring the beautifully soft look on Alexander's face, he stared at the moon. 

Almost full once again. 

"I've missed this, time alone for you and I. Having not to worry about the war, or people's opinions. It is nice." 

Laurens closed his eyes, frowning slightly. 

Yes, he too had missed spending time with Alexander somewhere other than their shared room, but he also knew they would be leaving Valley Forge soon. That meant they would most likely be separated, given different tasks by their General, at some point. He knew he shouldn't have gotten comfortable and used to them being together so often. 

It pained him to know they would probably never have a room to themselves again. 

He wished they could relive these last few months, because as horrible and stressful as they were, Alexander had stayed by his side through it all. He wished for so much and so little, and yet the war would not stop for them. Especially in a world where the inhabitants did not understand their love. 

"It is nice." Laurens finally replied. He distantly heard Alexander hum. 

"You do not mean that, do you?" 

His eyes opened, face turning towards Alexander. "What do you mean? It is nice. It’s a nice place." 

Laurens only received a sceptical glance thrown his way. He returned the look. Why was Alexander attempting to interrogate him now? Talking about feelings is not something they do without agreeing to have the talk at least an hour prior. Those conversations usually ended in misunderstandings, they both needed time alone beforehand to ensure they were calm. 

"Sure. What is bothering you, dear?" 

"Nothing." 

"I know something is troubling you, John. Do not ignore me like you ignore your problems. I can help." 

'I can help'? He doesn't even know what his problem is. He cannot stop the war and he cannot quit. Alexander needed this. He needed to keep writing, fighting for this country. Laurens was sure of it. This country needed Alexander. It needed him now, and it would need him later. After the war. 

Laurens could not just tell Alexander why he's upset. They would go their separate ways. Not only after leaving their winter encampments, but after the war. Alexander would marry a sophisticated woman of high status, someone who could bare him the children he often fantasised about parenting one day. Alexander would help create this country beside the wife he would love. While Laurens went back to his wife, a wife he could not love. Oh, and his daughter, after all, she is the reason for his marriage. 

Laurens had made it his job to ensure Alexander's survival of this war. And if it meant not revealing him his current thoughts, begin a slow process of pushing him away, he would do it. 

Even if merely thinking about such pained him. He had to do what was best for Alexander. 

He sent Alexander an irritated look, "Alexander. Stop. It's fine." He only hopes one day, Alexander will deem his actions justifiable. 

Alexander's eyes shut momentarily as he let out a frustrated exhale, "Hey, John, you're sad. It's okay to be sad- to cry. Everyone cries sometimes." He sat straighter, maintaining eye contact, "But if you are mad at me, well, you do not have a reason to be." 

Laurens frowned. "Cry? I am not a child anymore. Men do not cry." He is trying to do good for Alexander's sake and he thinks of him weak? And tells him to his face? 

Alexander's fierce stare does not match his quiet voice, "You have seen me cry. Am I not a man?" 

He breaks eye contact, choosing to stay silent. 

"Well then Laurens. Please enlighten me with your opinion whom no one asked for." 

"That is not what I said. Do not twist my words Hamilton." 

Alexander shuffles away from him, his face beginning to redden. "You know what. I am trying to help you. I love you, and right now, you worry me. So, if this you doubting our relationship again, thinking you're not perfect, whatever it is you think of yourself, it's okay." 

Laurens scowled as he met his gaze. 

"Nothing is perfect, but you will always be good enough for me." With his words coming out faster than usual, it was hard to tell if he meant any of it, or if it was all a mockery. 

"I am not perfect," he raised his voice, now sitting up, correcting his slouch, "And I do not need help. I do not need your help." 

Alexander openly gaped at him. "Excuse me?" 

He truly has the audacity to sound shocked. 

"You think you're being so helpful"- Laurens stood up swiftly -"well you are not helping. All you do is make everything worse! The only thing bothering me is you. You do not know everything-" 

Alexander stands ungratefully, towering over his sitting form, "I am trying to help you! Maybe if you didn't push me away-" 

"I push you away?! You've not told me anything of your life before the war!" 

They were both yelling. Thank God they weren't in the middle of camp; Hamilton would've still caused a scene. 

"When I'm upset, I must tell you everything. But when it's you, you can throw a tantrum?" 

He didn't have time to respond before Hamilton was blabbing again. 

"Yet I'm being childish." 

"Yes!" 

Hamilton, lips pressed tight, brows furrowed, stomped towards the clearing exit. 

He accuses him of throwing childish tantrums and then storms off? 

He can't let Hamilton have the last word. "Go ahead. Leave. Might as well leave whatever love you thought you felt behind too." It came out far harsher than intended. He's not thinking straight. 

Hamilton stops. He hears a soft whimper. Laurens' shoulders drop. 

Hamilton turns his head slowly, looking at him over his shoulder. 

There are tears in his eyes. And he's the reason for those tears. 

"Alexander, I-" 

He doesn't finish his sentence. Laurens watches his love walk away into the night. 

At that moment, the night didn't feel as warm, the moonlight grew dimmer. The flowers didn't seem to bloom, they weren't protecting the clearing from those dark shadows sulking amidst the trees. 

A sudden wave of melancholy and guilt hits him. He drops to his knees, looking around the clearing. Looking around as the tears in his eyes begin to spill. 

Looking around as the darkness of the forest consumed him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Constructive criticism is always appreciated! Kudos and comments make my day :)


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